If you want to appreciate yourself, simply like your status.

Do they sell decaf coffee tables at Ikea?

Life is like driving a car. It’s okay to look behind sometimes but keep looking straight because life’s goes on.

Age is something that doesn't matter unless you are a cheese.

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

Boom, you can now see all their recent and outdated status updates

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money

I'm ****ing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness

Sometimes, it’s not what you say that matters, it’s what you don’t.

True romance isn’t Romeo and Juliet who died together but grandma and grandpa who grew old together.