Whoever said your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.

The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

Who is left after a war is decided, not who is right?

You are done.

It doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside. It’s what on the inside that counts

I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?

Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror

Get in line to worship me, minions

If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.